Thoughts from the First Day of 1st Grade

Yesterday my baby started 1st grade! Wow! I have a 7yo and she is in 1st grade. So so hard to believe. Time is flying by so fast 

To be honest, I was in no way ready for summer to end. Sure, we have hard days some days, the girls argue sometimes, but for the most part our summers are spent swimming and snuggling and playing and relaxing and loving. I love having them home. LOVE. If I thought I could homeschool them and do a good job, I would. But here we are at the start of another school year! 

I think it was harder sending her to 1st grade then kindergarten. I'm not sure why. I think 1st grade makes it all seem real. She's growing up on me. And I'm apparently not ready for that. 

The worst thing about her being gone is that because of the apraxia I have NO idea what she does at school all day (unless I talk to her teachers everyday but that's just not feasible all the time). She got off the bus yesterday, her first time riding the big bus home, and all I wanted was to hear about her day. Who she ate lunch with, what she did, did she like her teacher, just the little things, and at this point in time, we don't get any of those answers. Language is something so many people take for granted and it's something that my husband and I will never take for granted with any of our kids. My mom and sister called yesterday and was like "how was Addie's first day" and it's soooo hard to even hear that question (they want to know just as much as I do how her day was and have all their questions answered) and I have to say "I really have no idea, she didn't tell me". It's so so hard! One day, I know she will come home and she will answer all my questions and talk to ear off and I'm going to smile. I stand firm knowing that God has a plan and she will one day tell people about the love of her savior and how she has overcome so much! But in these little moments, my heart breaks a little. So many people say "just wait until she starts talking, you will want her to just be quiet" and I can say with 100% certainty that those thoughts will NEVER come to my mind. I will never take language for granted and I urge all of you to not take it for granted with your kiddos. Listen to them, talk to them, ask them questions, learn who they are and listen to their hearts. 

Here she is winding down for the night. She looks so big here. I found this Doc Mobile at Target yesterday and she still had birthday money left over so I grabbed it. She was soooo excited. She grabbed it and hugged it and said "thanks mommy, I love it"! It's time like those where my heart mends a little. A year ago a sentence that long  wouldn't have been possible for her. There is always a ray of sunshine through the clouds! God always has a way of giving me hope even on the hard days!