A Preschooler No More
Three years ago, I sent my 3 year old little girl to preschool. The 3 year old that didn't talk. They 3 year old that really never left mommy's side. I took her to a strange place, with strange people and dropped her off. At that time, she was so delayed she had NO idea what was happening. She had no idea that the person that loved her most in the world was leaving her at this new place called school and that her mommy, her safe haven, wouldn't be there.
As I walked back to my car, carrying my 8 month old in my arms, I fought back the sobs that were trying to escape my chest. I can still remember the feeling like it was yesterday. The break in my heart was so real and so raw I didn't think I would make it through the day. I remember calling my husband and bawling on the phone ("It's only preschool, why do I need to be there for that? I'll be there for the first day of kindergarten", he said). I told him how she had looked at me so innocently and just knew that there was no way I was going to leave her. It still makes me sick to this day thinking about it. She didn't cry that day though. When I picked her up from school (it was only 3 hours long) she hugged me and I thought "okay baby girl, we got this, no tears!". The next day, it did not go the same. She didn't cry the first day because she thought it was just a 1 time thing. When I took her back the second day, that's when the massive amounts of tears came. It took my tiny 3 year old 5 months to stop crying every day. And I mean every. day. But this is is good for her. She needed to school. She needed peer modeling and she needed help catching up. So every day I dropped her off with tears in my eyes and tears pouring down her face.
The second year of preschool was so much better. She had the same teacher, the same classroom, the same friends. We had tears the first few days but she was fine! And momma was fine! But there were still questions. Would this second year be enough time to get her caught up? How are we going to do kindergarten? She's not verbal, why is she still not talking? So many questions but she was happy and we would worry about it later.
At the end of the second year we had our IEP meeting and everyone was okay with us keeping her out of kindergarten one more year. She has a summer birthday as it is and with the delay I worried so much about it all being too hard. This year, we would send her to a regular class (the last 2 years she was in a special needs class). She would have 19 other typical peers to play with and learn from. She would go almost a full day. We had high hopes for this extra year.
I dropped her off the first day of school and I still remember the first day of drop off when she was 3! Now she is 5 and use to leaving mommy, even though I'm still her safe haven. She goes to school with no tears. She loves preschool this year. She ask to go back the second she walks in the door. At Christmas break she hugged her teacher bye and patted her on the back 3 times (I love you, the pats say), something she only reserves for family. We go through IEP meetings. We took about placement for kindergarten. We talk about services she will be getting and making sure things are included in the IEP to make sure she succeeds. Its time for her to start real school in the fall. School where we will learn to read, count, add and tell time.
I have faith in her. She has grown so much in the 3 years she has been in preschool. This last year we have seen the most growth and I know with the team we have in place she will continue to grow! We will miss Ms Pam and Ms Miranda sooooo very much and we are so thankful for the love and support they have given her this year. Addie is already asking for them but the last day of school was Thursday and our summer is here.
So now we look forward to warm days outside, playing in the pool, free movies at the theater, and lots of snuggles in the early hours of the morning (Addie has an internal alarm clock that has no off button). I'm holding on to this summer tight because not only will Addie be going to kindergarten but my baby, my Baylie Bug, is now 3 and will be starting preschool. I'm sure the tears will flow that first day of school just like they did with sissy not too long ago. But for now, I'm hoping that summer will creep by slow so that I can soak it all in and enjoy my little lovies in the present and not worry about the future.
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As I walked back to my car, carrying my 8 month old in my arms, I fought back the sobs that were trying to escape my chest. I can still remember the feeling like it was yesterday. The break in my heart was so real and so raw I didn't think I would make it through the day. I remember calling my husband and bawling on the phone ("It's only preschool, why do I need to be there for that? I'll be there for the first day of kindergarten", he said). I told him how she had looked at me so innocently and just knew that there was no way I was going to leave her. It still makes me sick to this day thinking about it. She didn't cry that day though. When I picked her up from school (it was only 3 hours long) she hugged me and I thought "okay baby girl, we got this, no tears!". The next day, it did not go the same. She didn't cry the first day because she thought it was just a 1 time thing. When I took her back the second day, that's when the massive amounts of tears came. It took my tiny 3 year old 5 months to stop crying every day. And I mean every. day. But this is is good for her. She needed to school. She needed peer modeling and she needed help catching up. So every day I dropped her off with tears in my eyes and tears pouring down her face.
The second year of preschool was so much better. She had the same teacher, the same classroom, the same friends. We had tears the first few days but she was fine! And momma was fine! But there were still questions. Would this second year be enough time to get her caught up? How are we going to do kindergarten? She's not verbal, why is she still not talking? So many questions but she was happy and we would worry about it later.
At the end of the second year we had our IEP meeting and everyone was okay with us keeping her out of kindergarten one more year. She has a summer birthday as it is and with the delay I worried so much about it all being too hard. This year, we would send her to a regular class (the last 2 years she was in a special needs class). She would have 19 other typical peers to play with and learn from. She would go almost a full day. We had high hopes for this extra year.
I dropped her off the first day of school and I still remember the first day of drop off when she was 3! Now she is 5 and use to leaving mommy, even though I'm still her safe haven. She goes to school with no tears. She loves preschool this year. She ask to go back the second she walks in the door. At Christmas break she hugged her teacher bye and patted her on the back 3 times (I love you, the pats say), something she only reserves for family. We go through IEP meetings. We took about placement for kindergarten. We talk about services she will be getting and making sure things are included in the IEP to make sure she succeeds. Its time for her to start real school in the fall. School where we will learn to read, count, add and tell time.
I have faith in her. She has grown so much in the 3 years she has been in preschool. This last year we have seen the most growth and I know with the team we have in place she will continue to grow! We will miss Ms Pam and Ms Miranda sooooo very much and we are so thankful for the love and support they have given her this year. Addie is already asking for them but the last day of school was Thursday and our summer is here.
So now we look forward to warm days outside, playing in the pool, free movies at the theater, and lots of snuggles in the early hours of the morning (Addie has an internal alarm clock that has no off button). I'm holding on to this summer tight because not only will Addie be going to kindergarten but my baby, my Baylie Bug, is now 3 and will be starting preschool. I'm sure the tears will flow that first day of school just like they did with sissy not too long ago. But for now, I'm hoping that summer will creep by slow so that I can soak it all in and enjoy my little lovies in the present and not worry about the future.
Three Year Old on Her First Day of Preschool - Six (Almost) Year Old on Her Last Day!
Time really does fly!
And yes, I want to bawl all over again when I look at this picture!
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