Hold On Tight

Some days you just need to lay in bed, snuggle and make silly faces. Tonight when we were leaving my in laws, Addie fell and tore up her knees pretty bad. For most kids, it would hurt, yeah. But for her there comes another layer of issues. She's already overly sensitive to touch (most of you know just brushing her hair is a struggle) but with something like this she falls apart. Touching to clean them sets her off, putting a band-aid on her skin is beyond hard, then her trying to walk is just pitiful. Our evening has been an evening of her being scared, in pain, and us trying to reassure her it will be okay. 

We've prayed with her that there will be no pain for her when she wakes up in the morning. And talked about how Jesus will heal even our tiny boo boos. And while I laid in bed holding her, trying to reassure her little mind and heart, I prayed that I would have the right words, the right touch, the right attitude. 

These are the times that are hard. That even though she's come such a long way, you still see where the struggles are. Some days mommy is tired and the moments where she squeals or kicks or pulls my hair (or does all 3 at one time) because the pain is too much can be overwhelming. She has no other way to express herself, and in these moments, I always want to show love and grace and compassion. I always want her to know that she can turn to mommy, hold on tight, and mommy will hold on and love her right back, even in the midst of the chaos. 

And that's what I want to teach her about Jesus too. I want to teach all 3 girls that even in the midst of the chaos, in the midst of this crazy world, the uncertainties, the hard parts, that you can run to Him, wrap your arms around Him and He will whisper words of love and comfort to you. In these moments where I feel helpless to help my baby, to get through to her that it will be okay, that the pain will go away, these are also the moments where my heart cries out to Him. Where He holds me close and let's me know that it will be okay, that I have the right words, that I am the perfect mommy to mother this beautiful, special girl. 

This girl of mine, she made me a mommy 9 years ago next week. And she has taught me so many things. More then I could have ever dreamed. She's taught me that you can love fiercely without words and that you can be stronger then your circumstances. This girl, she's going to move mountains!